Poor, Poor OPS...

First their teachers are getting canned and now, get this, school is starting fifteen minutes earlier. At first glance this appears harmless. Fifteen minutes earlier, a mere 900 seconds, grab a red bull and get out the door, no biggie. But an incalculable effect is rippling through the district. ZOMBIES. The students have passed the threshold of sleep-deprivation from exhausted to undead. An anonymous OPS instructor had this to say: "Not only are the students more sluggish, pallid, and revolting in odor, but their appetites have taken a drastic turn. I did, however, find a group of students ravenously eating a cow brain from the science lab."

Hopefully this new "brain-food" will provide students the means to get through their snow-day induced time requisites.

Graphics Editor- Julius Fredrick