Technology without an identity

The ipad has reached sales of over 300,000! This is quite ridiculous. Here are some questions I have for the "ingenious" middle aged inventors.

What in the world is it?

Can it even print?

Does it have an identity?

What's so unique about an obese ipod touch?

What was was going through your mind when you named you it the ipad?

Was you wife on her period?

To conclude, the ipad is USELESS and has a silly name. Apple you have failed yet again. Go back to the drawing board and try again.